Graduation Congratulations

Hey Bud,

I apologize for the formality of a typed letter. I’m trying to be like Dad. No, the truth is that the latest technology has made advancements in a lot of areas of our society, but handwriting is not one of them. If I were printing, my hand would be so cramped up by now I’d be screaming so high only the dogs could hear it!

So, here we are on the day of your graduation. This milestone in your life causes me to reflect back to when you first came to us…left on the porch in a basket…oh wait, that was Noah’s story. Seriously, I remember when Mom found out she was pregnant with you. We had just moved from Joplin to Edmond and were staying in Memaw’s house until we found our own. I remember being ecstatic! Holly and I were best friends, but what little girl wouldn’t want her own live doll to play with. I remember, and I’m sure Mom still has the pictures, taking Mom’s picture every month as you grew bigger and bigger inside of her. I remember going to the doctor and hearing your heartbeat for the first time.

I remember being at friend’s, Dave and Marty, house for dinner the night before you were born. Mom was feeling a little “off” and Marty was certain that meant Mom would have you right away. But she was still 6 days away from her due date and brushed off the comment. Sure enough, you came early the next morning.

Holly and I were standing right outside the room when Mom gave birth and we heard Dad crying, “It’s a boy!” Me and Holly and Memaw started crying then, too.

When we brought you home, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you or leave you alone. You were so tiny and precious. And you were my brother.

All my friends were jealous that I could hold you and take care of you anytime. And take care of you we did! Holly and I logged so many hours of babysitting, we could have started a small business. But we never complained. HA!

As you got older and bigger and cuter and stronger and smarter, I loved you even more. You were our first. You were my baby brother.

I remember giving you baths and dressing you up to take pictures. I remember stealing all your pacifiers so that the family could see if we were as talented with our tongues as you seemed to be with yours.

I remember your first day of school. Like most events in your life, this one brought a day of not only one proud Mom and Dad but also two big sisters that were walking you into that classroom as well. Again, I think we all cried.

I could go on and on with all of the memories I have of you growing up.

At the time that you were a little kid and I was an incredibly mature adult, I never imagined what kind of relationship we would have as you got older. I hoped, of course, that we would be close. But I never dreamed that you would become so special to me, not just because you are my little brother, but because now you are my friend. This year has meant more to me then you will ever know.

I have seen you become an amazing individual. You have allowed God to develop you into a Godly man with strong character. I love who you have become: smart, talented, hilariously funny (my opinion, not necessarily held by others in the family…just kidding), sensitive, kind, gentle and a man of integrity. There is nothing about you that could be different that would make me more proud of you then I am right now.

I don’t think many people get a chance to grow up in a family as amazing as ours. In fact, I know they don’t. God has been so good to us, to allow us to have such close relationships with each other. I know many people that never talk to their siblings and would never choose to hang out with them. I am so happy that is not us, we have to make sure we work to keep it that way.

I always call you guys, “my kids” and even when I’m talking with Mom and Dad I’ll refer to you as “our kids”, as if I’m one of the parents. I guess in a way I have that feeling towards you, that ownership. I’ve been taking care of you your whole life and I’ll always have that tendency to protect you…you’re mine, my little brother.
So, on this day of your graduation, I don’t have any profound words to say…I say those enough on an every day basis anyway. Instead, I want you to know how much I love you, how much you are treasured and valued, how important you are in my life, how proud I am of you, and how truly blessed I am when I get to say “he’s MY brother”.

I love you Bud. Congratulations,

Random Moments

Recently, one of the senior girls has gotten into the habit of stopping by my office any chance she can for some girl chat. I'm not sure if it's because she enjoys my company or if she just is taking any excuse she can to get out of her classes. Whichever way it is, I've enjoyed (as she puts it) "solving the world's problems" together.
Today we were casually discussing the game their class played in history; how the boys annihilated the girls in one swift swoop, as well as the food they would be having at their graduation parties. As always, it was a funny conversation completely full of randomness.
Out of the blue, she tells me that the senior class really seems to be getting along well the last couple days. As with any group of 18ish year old, about to embark on adulthood and freedom, the last few weeks of school usually are pretty hard; emotions run high and tempers are short. My friend was pretty excited about the fact that they had found some peace as of late.
This quickly led into a conversation on friendships/relationships. We talked about how most people her age (and I guess mine as well, though 10 years ahead) think in what she termed "the Cinderella" train of thought. You know, the idea that there is no need to work on things, no need to push through the hard times and really figure out who a person is so that the relationship can mature. The perfect scenario of all events will just happen.
I've found this to be true in a lot of areas of my life. I tend to want the easy way out of most things. I want a good job, but don't want to put in the hours of work. I want intelligence, but don't want to study. I want change in my community, but don't want to step up and lead. I want maturity and truth in my relationships but don't want to ask the tough questions.
It's easy for me to think that I can sit back and let things take it's natural course. And if it doesn't work out, I walk away. I change jobs, I look for different church, I dump my boyfriends and see new friends. It's too hard to take the responsibility on myself and make things work.
There is a situation going on in my life right now that fits this bill. I'd like nothing less then to hide tail and run. But I can't. Easy doesn't always equal right. And more often then not, it's through those tough times that the greatest reward emerges.
It's amazing how God uses those moments of "randomness" to remind us of His truths.

Blogger or Blah-ger

I like to think that I used to be a pretty good blogger. But now I feel as though I have slipped into the ugly underworld of a BLAH-ger. You know the type, they open up an account, put out a few posts, get you all excited about what insight they claim they can spout and then they up and leave you high and dry. That's become me. It's a dirty reality to accept.
Some days I can spend a good thirty minutes reading other's blogs. Some make me laugh, some make me cry, some make me contemplate life while some just make me wonder why we give people such a platform to speak their minds in this world! Yea for America's free speech.
It's not that I don't have good intentions to write on my blog...er, blah-g. You should see my "edit posts" folder, it has three drafts sitting in it right now. I have the material, people, it's the time I lack. I feel good if I can get in a quick email between phone calls, students asking for medicine, teachers requesting me to fill in their classes, and random people stopping by to tell me how I should be running my life. And with my slight (currently undiagnosed) case of ADD, once I'm pulled away from my train of thought, there ain't no getting back on that wagon.
So, where am I going with this, you might ask. I don't know. Just trying to fill up some more space so I can once again join the wonderful world of bloggers and not be an old BLAH-ger anymore.