And I Think I Have it Tough

_{1915 Teachers Rules}

1. You will mot marry during the term of your contract.
2. You are not to keep the company with men.
3. You must be home between the hours of 8 PM and 6 AM unless attending a school function.
4. You may not loiter downtown in ice cream stores..
5. You may not travel beyond the city limits unless you have the permission of the chairman of the board..
6. You may not ride in a carriage or automobile with any man unless he is your father or brother.
7. You may not smoke cigarettes.
8. You may not dress in bright colors.
9. You may under no circumstances dye your hair.
10. You must wear at least two petticoats.
11. Your dresses must not be any shorter than two inches above the ankle.
12. To keep the school room neat and clean, you must: sweep the floor at least once daily, scrub the floor at least once a week with hot soapy water, clean the blackboards at lest once a day and start the fire at 7 AM so the room will warm by 8 AM.

For more funnies on living in the 1900's, visit Summer's blog.

William Booth's Fears are Realized

“I consider that the chief dangers which confront the coming century will be religion without the Holy Ghost, Christianity without Christ, forgiveness without repentance, salvation without regeneration, politics without God, and heaven without hell.” - William Booth (founder of the Salvation Army)

One of those days

Ever had one of those days where you felt like
something was about to drop at any moment?
A day like this:

I have. Yesterday. So what did I do? I cleaned my house.
Because, when things spiral out of control in my life,
I turn to the one thing I can control - the cleanliness of my house.
It's a sickness really.

What do you do when you feel overload coming on?

One to Think on...

“How many souls have been blown into hell
with the wind of popular applause?”

-Thomas Watson

When a Good Throw Goes Bad

It was just another lovely evening with the frisbee.

When suddenly, out of nowhere, a HUGE wind came and

swept my otherwise very good throw away....far, far away.....

Aw, man. It's on the house. Now what?

Don't worry, we have a ladder. Wait a minute...that's not gonna work....

Here, let me try. I'm obviously much taller than you.

Maybe if we throw basketballs, we'll knock the frisbee down.

Too bad Ethan's shot isn't so accurate...

I, on the other hand....

If only we had someone small to climb up there, like a little monkey,

and retrieve our beloved frisbee.

Noah to the rescue....

Sweet success!!!

Incidentally - I'm not allowed to throw TOWARD the house anymore.

You never know when those vicious winds are gonna pick up.

Your Quick and Easy Guide to "How to Lose a Girl on a Blind Date"

You've seen the movie "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days"? In my opinion, that is just too easy. Anyone can run someone off in ten days! So let's up the anty.

Here I have for you the perfectly designed formula of "How to Lose a Girl on a Blind Date". These steps have been tested and proven as a sure-fire way to drive that girl away.

10. Show up thirty minutes late and then blame the girl for giving you wrong directions.

9. Wear clothing appropriate for a man 25 years older than you.

8. Call the girl the day of the date and ask her out AGAIN as if it were the first time.

7. Laugh hysterically when your date tells you the sad story of how her neighbor's house burnt to the ground.

6. Do not under any circumstances open doors for her, allow her to go walk ahead of you through doorways, or order first.

5. When talking of spiritual convictions, play devil's advocate and put your date on the spot. And don't ever let up.

4. Outright REFUSE to answer a questions when you do not know the answer.

3. On the way to the restaurant, try to run as many red lights and get into as many accidents as possible.

2. When talking of pop culture, admit that you only listen to Country and Western music (old school country, we're talking Dolly Parton here, folks).

1. Burst out in nervous giggles at inappropriate moments but NEVER at the girl's geniunly funny comments.

There you have! And just in case you were wondering, I'm living proof this formula WORKS!

Will the Mensa Candidate Please Stand Up

I've never considered myself genius material. I guess that stems from having a scholar as a sister. It was easy for me to slide by on a great personality and good looks. Ha ha. And besides, I always rationalized, who needs book smarts when you got street smarts like myself.
So, tonight I was minding my own business on facebook when I ran across an IQ test on a friends profile. I thought, "Hmmm, that could be fun. I'll try it out." I knew that if it ended up that I am "mentally challenged" then I could always just delete the application from my profile and go on my merry way deceiving people with my lack of intelligence. Because really, I don't think I'm too shabby at pulling off "smart".
The questions weren't too bad. Just your typical "which symbol doesn't belong" or "what comes next in this sequence". I flew through them pretty easily. And, what do you know, low and behold I ended up with a 134.
Now, I didn't really know what that meant. So, to the trusty google I go to answer all my questions. See, apparently smart people not only know the answers but where to find them as well. Come to find out, 134 is genius material. According to one resource 130 is the average IQ of all college professors and lies within the upper 3% of the general public.
Well, that got me really riled up so I decided to do a bit more testing. I mean how much faith can you really put into a silly facebook application?
To the Mensa site I headed. Now you can't really test for genius for free on the internet. It takes hours with certified instructors to fully determine your brain power. But you can take a Mensa Fun Test, which I did expediently.
And actually, true to name, it was kind of fun.
Again, I was shocked by my results. They were, and I quote, "20 out of 30. That is a very good score—you would have a good chance of passing the Mensa test." Hmmm...this was getting very interesting indeed.
Back to google I went in search of more tests. I opened up a few others and thought about working them, but quickly realized that the previous two tests and the 8 hours of teaching combined with 3 hours of grading I had put in this very day were taking their toll on what was now my OBVIOUS genius. And I decided the smart thing was to concede to my brains and call it a night.
I mean, why keep testing a good thing, right?
Don't worry, this uncommon aptitude thing shouldn't affect how I relate to the rest of the world. I'll just have to try to forget that I really am a brainiack .

A Facebook Conversation

I'm beginning to have second thoughts on accepting my 8th grade students as friends on facebook (just my limited profile). Here's the fun I experienced tonight:

Amelia

Today at 8:33pm

ok u can be totally honest

am i a good student????

Tara Angela Rehrig

Today at 8:34pm

of course you are a good student. i love having you in class!

Amelia

Today at 8:37pm

oh thank u and to be totally honest at first i thought u were kind of weird but now ur better

oh and i tink u have the best style out of all the teachers


Hmm...well, I may be weird but at least I got the style thing going for me. Not sure I know what to think of her honesty.

A Conversation

"So, Miss Rorig," started Mark, an 8th grader who has yet to master the pronunciation of my name, "do you have a boyfriend yet?"

"No, I do not have a boyfriend right now." I answered, wondering where in the world this was going.

"Aren't you lonely? Because teachers are always lonely and lazy and have lots of cats."

"No, I'm not lonely and I don't have any cats." I let the lazy thing speak for itself.

"Well," he concluded, "I think you are in denial."