A Royal Something

I’ve taken to doing some walking on the “walking-only track” at the church across from my apartment. It’s a nice, easy way to get in a good exercise on the cold days. Only 18 times around make one mile. By the three mile mark, I’m a little dizzy but feeling the burn.

The last two days, I’ve broken up every mile with a series of butt-busting squats.

I don’t care what anyone says, squats are one nasty exercise. A certain article named them “King of All Exercises”, I say they’re just a royal pain in the you-know-whaty.

But let’s face it, pain or not, I could use a little help toning up my gluteus maximus. Most women would say the same about their own behind. And if they don’t, they're lying. I mean, I’ve never heard a girl say, “you know, I wish my bum were a little bit flabbier, I’m gonna have to un-firm this thing.” Please.

So, Monday I worked 100 squats. Tuesday, I did 50. And today I can’t walk.